Ever had one of those moments when the words of a hymn/ song/ chorus that you had pretty much dismissed suddenly hit you right to the core. I had one of those moments this week. I was in my bosses licensing service on the other evening.
Make me a channel of your peace
Where there's despair in life, let me bring hope
Where there is darkness, only light
And where there's sadness, ever joy.
Oh, Master grant that I may never seek
So much to be consoled as to console
To be understood as to understand
To be loved as to love with all my soul.
As I stood, fully robed, fighting back tears the gravity of the day caught me. The afternoon had been spent conducting the funeral of someone who had taken their own life. Over 100 people gathered to- well what do people do at funerals- pay their respects? have their hearts torn open again?
They gathered and these words (originally St Francis?) were mine to inhabit: that I might bring hope where there is despair. In this season of dark nights and this era of dark days to be a bearer of light somehow.. I found myself praying this as a prayer- hoping only that somehow I had functioned as that for assembled mourners.
Days like that day take their toll. I need space after to reflect. Space is hard to come by in Christmas week but I have 36 hours to sit back, take stock and let this week's events take their proper place..