Again a disclaimer: not sure I am thinking straight.
The media has really taken hold of the predictions of one that today is judgement day. There are little articles all over and twitter has three trending topics related. Most of my Christian cyber (and real) friends are cynical. But perhaps in mentioning it we are giving away our sort of 'just in case' theories.
There is a whole heap of ridicule heading towards the guy who is prime mover in all this. A sort of sense of 'he's not one of us'.
But he is. He is our brother in Christ. And he is perhaps just an extreme example of what we all do from time to time. Can any of us say that we haven't wanted to control or predict God. That we haven't theorised about when the end might come? That we haven't given to organisations who promise to take the gospel to all nations so Jesus might then return?
It seems to me that in days of struggle; when life makes less and less sense, when things are not getting better, we have a choice. We can try to control- the end is coming, if we just work harder etc etc.. or we can tumble into the abyss.
The deep chasm of God. His mystery. Complete with the jagged rocks of fear that will tear us if we seek to hold on. Complete with a sense of doom as we fall away from the light we have known, with no certain hope in a greater light to come.
The day and the hour are unknown but that to reduce that to shouting at Harold Camping seems to me to miss the point. In that Jesus invites us to trust.
And thats hard. Because we are so independent. We can do so much for ourselves that to trust seems perverse. I feel deeply humbled today as I hear the invite to rest and trust. I have tried to fight it - but now in a confusing world of unbalanced ears and legs I am drawn from the sofa, not to get on with it but to fall into an abyss.
And as I fall I pray
Keep from the jagged rocks of fear
Lord have mercy
Keep me from clawing to get back to the light i know
Christ have mercy
Welcome me to the place of trust
Lord have mercy