Jude Smith

Mine is broken. I know this because its 1.20 in the morning and I have been trying to get to sleep for an hour. I am tired. I know this because I am uber emotional, a little paranoid and don't really finish my.. But, here I am.. awake.. Which means my body clock is broken... it should get tired at maybe 10.20 ish, I go to sleep before 11 I wake at 7.30.. happy days.. But no.. I might do the night nurse thing to kick it back into action.. Rant over.. oh and a yawn,, I might be boring myself to sleep.

It was Gran's funeral today. Sad but beautiful day. I was really touched to see so many of my parents friends around, to see family again (I am rubbish at keeping up with family, so always good to say hi). Amidst the sadness I had to smile. I've said it before but Gran was a flirt (in a really good way).. so it was fitting that she made her last journey borne on the shoulders of four nice young men. Rest in peace Gran..

Bless me blog readers for I have sinned (in fact am sinning right now). It is fifteen years since my last essay based exam. I confess that I am in the course of the last three and next seven days, trying my best to avoid the activity known to be saintly among students: namely that of revision. I have indulged in the following activities already: Shopping (ASDA, for pressies for people... all very worthy) Church (technically not a sin in real life but possibly here) Tea (see above) More tea More tea still Ironing (serious sin coming) Watching 20 Greatest Christmas Hits! Watching 100 Greatest Christmas Moments!! I will indulge in the following sinful pursuits in the next few days: Spooks... (woo) Driving 200 miles to Leeds More tea (this time with a Bishop.. not quite a cardinal sin but..) More driving Maybe getting caught in the snow Maybe trying to write an essay instead of revising Oh, and this.. blogging.. Its not good..

My Gran died this morning. When I was there on Monday, she was sleeping. She didn't really wake up much this week. But, as I think I said before, Gran loved hymns.. I watched as my mum was singing hymns to her and watched as she reacted. It was one of the most beautiful things I ever saw, as Gran tried to sing along to the words of her favourite hymn.. The first verse: The day Thou gavest, Lord, is ended, The darkness falls at Thy behest; To Thee our morning hymns ascended, Thy praise shall sanctify our rest. Amen..

My Gran is pretty poorly, I drove up to Luton this morning to come see her. As I peered into her room she looked all tiny and oh so very frail propped up in bed. But, I'd been thinking as I drove up that I would like to introduce you all to Clarice Ivy Henman. My Gran! The first thing I should say is that Gran is an incorrigible flirt! One of my earliest memories was Gran flirting with a window cleaner when we were on holiday once. Nothing mean or nasty in it. Just incredible fun. Which leads me to Gran and the giggles. She has giggled a whole lot! Gran also taught me how to do very useful things, like polishing brass and hoovering (though I seem to recall treating their small old school cylinder hoover as a horse until I was about five!). Gran used to make the best roast potatoes in the world. Gran used to pray with us when we stayed at her house (or she told stories that sounded a lot like prayers). Gran loves singing. She has advanced dementia now, but still (until a coup