Thought I would start to blog some of the liturgy/ thoughts/ stuff that I've played with. This one I wrote for something Andy was doing, now Kate is using it so thought I'd public it here!
Oh Lord, you have scanned me seen me in passing
I show you my schedule of busyness and importance, I guess at your thoughts from afar
I avoid you in my going out and my lying down
By now you are familiar with these (all my) ways
Before an arrangement is in my diary you know I’m too busy to be alone.
They hem me in– friends behind and before: keep your hands off me,
Such closeness is too hard for me, too intimate for me to feel safe.
How can I meet with your spirit? How can I encounter your presence?
If I go to my cell group will you be there?
If I make my bed in a community of grace, would you meet with me?
If I rise at the earliest hour, and flee to the other side of the world, to preach your name, could you find me there?
Would your right hand hold me tight?
If I say “surely my friends will not leave me, surely they will be company?”
If I try to stay surrounded by work and noise, it seems that even there I am alone.
Have you seen when I am lonely.
From the time in my mothers womb
You made me to engage with you, when I was made in the secret and lonely place.
When I was woven together I could not hide from you
As you planned this life of community and depth.
How frightening are my thoughts to me O God?
How vast are my worries and fears.
Were I to dwell on them I would surely crack.
So when I wake I will hide from them.
If only you would slay this loneliness Lord, away from me you destructive thoughts.
They speak of God as if He would abandon me
Do I not hate their very lies? I count them as enemies
Search me O God, and know my heart
Test me and know these anxious thoughts
See if there is any offensive way in me
And help me find you in loneliness.