I should never forget that this discipleship thing is a journey. There is no defined end to it save when I get to go home (die, or Jesus comes back). I think I do forget it, often, and get complacent. I forget that an intimate relationship with my Creator, my Father, is exactly what I was created for. It is my highest calling- not some trifling task of setting up projects, no matter how worthy.
From time to time I find myself reminded of this truth and I realize how far away from that priority I have drifted. Yes, I love God, yes, I want to serve Him, but somewhere along the line I have let service overtake love and I have really denied my purpose in life.
Sometimes the journey home is short and fairly painless, a grateful turn round to realize that home is just round the corner. Sometimes the journey is longer and harder. It’s a time when actually the challenge is to say “have at it” and let God not just let me in at the door but let Him show me the new rooms that he has prepared for our relationship.
Those journeys are harder, they involve examining my heart, they involve dealing with my fears of coming closer to God. They involve digging around and rooting out pain. They often involve me going to my green file and looking at the journey that I have already come on, thanking God for it and asking for more. In going to the file I challenge my pride, my thirst for perfection (rather than holiness), I abandon my attempts to make it on my own and I say Daddy I need you.
Last night and this morning.. they are green file moments. Have at it Lord.