Creativity defines me

Thoughts on theft..

noreply@blogger.com (Vicar) — Tue, 22 Dec 2009 19:09:00 +0000

So, one of my esteemed colleagues has gotten into bother for 'encouraging' shoplifting. I probably don't want to say too much about it- other than the context of the sermon is important.

There is something about theft and relationship which I want to articulate (I may fail). If one shoplifts there is very little relational damage. When someone steals from their parents or children, some part of the social fabric is ripped. Relationship has somehow been dishonoured.

Being burgled last week fits in the middle. My predecessor was quick to point out this morning that he was never burgled because: 'I pretty quickly got to know all the rogues'. Aside from the implied 'you are shit at the job'- it raises a relational question. Was the theft from my house a relational act?

I was very publically out and about that afternoon- at a kids party then a school play. Anyone who knows where I live would know the house was empty. So was it relational? And is it a good sign or a bad one that they chose me? Is it a failure of not getting the 'rogues' to respect me but not to respect anyone else? And is it personal- we don't like her- so we'll do her house. It doesn't feel that way, there was a strange kindness in it- no excessive damage or stuff.

Or was it opportunist? Just a dark empty house that was worth trying.

Either way there is relationship that has been damaged. Its very likely that the thieves are local- it affects how I feel about the community (perhaps best shown in snapping at some snowball throwing kids on Friday). Its that relational damage which I think is at the heart of God's prohibition on theft.

In that sense I am probably with my colleague.

Thats all quite rambling: may add edits later.

Winding down .. ooh no.. winding up for Christmas.

noreply@blogger.com (Vicar) — Tue, 22 Dec 2009 19:00:00 +0000

I confess. A bit of me still thinks that I am a student or a teacher or something. It is the week before Christmas and my body just wants to stop. Admittedly it hasn't been helped by the burglary- I think that has raised profound thought that I might blog about later.

But it is Christmas week and I must wind myself up into action. There are crib services and Midnight Communions and Christmas Day.. There are perhaps some unprecedented opportunities. I just hope that my overriding feeling of being the athlete who was great in the European Cup but may not make teh Olympic semis will pass.

This is getting dangerous!

noreply@blogger.com (Vicar) — Tue, 08 Dec 2009 19:23:00 +0000

I woke up at 6.05 this morning: and having done one of those weird deals with God I hauled me out of bed and got breakfast one! And then I went and put on my gym stuff (Which looks better each time I put it on!) And then I got in the car and at 6.40am I was in the gym!

I have a number of observations:
1- everyone looks less glam at that time in the morning: in fact I observe that you are safe from the ultra thin ultra tanned until 7.45am!
2- this is reassuring and invites you to try harder and try new things.
3- there is more space
4- surprisingly I have more energy than I thought I would.

So: I did my interval cross training, then my upper body work, then my 2000m row.. which I knocked 17 seconds off! Its not great (9:56:7) but its under 10 minutes and gives me something to work on..

Training session three tomorrow so we will see how we go!

Training session 2

noreply@blogger.com (Vicar) — Mon, 30 Nov 2009 19:19:00 +0000

Well dear reader, I wouldn't want you to think that I hadn't trained since last time- I have been dutifully pushing squatting and other things that when written down seem strangely toilet related!

In ten days I have eaten only one cheaty food thing (a planned cream cake) and I am pleased to say that I have lost five pounds. Its a slowish start but should get quicker from here on in.

I now have my personalised training programme too.. Its a good combination of cross training and rowing, of weights and lunges! It should all have me a bit more toned and shaped by Christmas! (Honest Guv!)

The only 'problem' is that my arms are now very tired and gimpy! But I am excitededed!

Training session 1

noreply@blogger.com (Vicar) — Sat, 21 Nov 2009 18:13:00 +0000

So I had my first training session with the personal trainer yesterday: and all things considered, pretty good...

We started with a fitness test: a 3000 metre row. It took me just over 15 minutes. Not bad considering: though blatantly want to be able to do it first in 15 minutes flat and then eventually in under twelve.

Then it was squats, lunges and some weights. My body was proper feeling it by the end of the day but was all good.

More bizarre was the lovely scales in the gym clocking me as having lost 13lb (if only).. But the wii has me having lost 2lb plus a little bit more this morning.

I am beginning to feel the lack of caffeine and carbs today though.. but we fight on.

Today's exercise was cleaning- an hour of it! All good..

'Diet' Day 1...

noreply@blogger.com (Vicar) — Wed, 18 Nov 2009 22:07:00 +0000

This 'dieting' business (which is actually about eating fewer calories not some weird only eat food beginning with z thing.. are there any foods that begin with z?) is quite hard with this job..

I must self congratulate first.. I have had no sugar in coffee and have had no biscuits cake or crisps.. or chocolate.

BUT- on a visit I was made homemade Italian sauce from a homemade lovely Italian lady.. with an ENORMOUS plate of pasta (white carbs bad..)

and- having not quite made it to a meeting, David and I went to the local and the locals MADE us (really) drink beer.. It was very lovely- but not quite the calories cutting.

So.. not bad.. but need to plan things somehow..

This time I mean it..

noreply@blogger.com (Vicar) — Tue, 17 Nov 2009 20:23:00 +0000

Anyone one who has known me for a while will know that at times I can talk big and act small. This is often the case in terms of setting out on a new project- and fitness and weight loss has been a favourite non starter in all of this.

But maybe, just maybe this time I mean it.

The fact is that I am heavier than I have ever been, I can hear my heart pumping away to keep me going (I suspect my BP is sky high), my asthma is getting worse and people just keep feeding me biscuits.

So: here I am, saying it publically. I want to lose something like 3 stone by Easter- thats 42 lbs and a lot of kilos.. I'm a bit too shy to reveal my starting weight.. But there are a couple of people I will be honest with so I can check how its going.

To that end- I am going to meet with a personal trainer 6 times at the gym to get me going- plus more exercise generally.
I am cutting down on food: mainly carbs, but all food. All teh snacks are going out of the house.
And caffeine will eventually go.

This probably sounds a bit daft but I would really value your prayers. This is a big deal for me. I have probably always shied away from publically talking about the whole thing- so maybe this is the breakthrough step.

So I will try to keep you posted.

I am a hypocrite

noreply@blogger.com (Vicar) — Sun, 08 Nov 2009 21:33:00 +0000

This weekend: I have applauded the win of an underdog, and yet decried the win of another..

I have empathised with peace and reconciliation, and yet sought conflict.

I have talked of and asked for grace and mercy and yet when I see grace in action I call it a travesty!

And I have watched a documentary about massive injustice (Israel and Palenstine) and then gotten more involved in the injustice of X factor..

I am a hypocrite.

Context is everything: thoughts on war memorials, urine and war.

noreply@blogger.com (Vicar) — Wed, 04 Nov 2009 16:25:00 +0000

When I was a student, I was in my neighbour's rooms: there was noise outside and as I glanced out of the window there was a couple, having sex on the war memorial outside the room.

Today, as I type a student is under threat of jail for urinating on a war memorial.

Two things have changed in the interim 15 years. The first is that instant photos get everywhere. In 1994 there were no digital cameras to fire images around the world at rapid pace. This lad has been charged with outraging public decency, presumably of the people who saw the photo more than the myriad other drunken students.

The second change is that in 1994 we were in an era of comparative peace. We had 'won' the Cold War and we were not yet in the new world of the War on Terror. War memorials were important- but you may struggle to find people calling them 'sacred'.

My point is this. I agree that this lad did something very wrong. Urinating in the street is one of the increasingly seen and always unacceptable parts of UK booze culture. However, laws are written and should be enacted in part to preserve people from the swings and sways of public opinion. This has caused outrage because we are at war- we are losing large numbers of troops- more than since the 1950's. The context has changed our view of this act, I question whether the legal system should follow.

Changes afoot!

noreply@blogger.com (Vicar) — Tue, 03 Nov 2009 17:26:00 +0000

I think I am going to make the blog look a little different. I want to make it a bit more functional so you can get to see all the things you need to see here. For those of you who know me well: there is another blog where I can share a wee bit more about what is going on here. If you want an invite then you will need to email me.

So: watch this space for the changes to take effect.

the Role of the Muse...

noreply@blogger.com (Vicar) — Thu, 22 Oct 2009 22:31:00 +0000

I'm watching Question Time.. I think I stand by most of what I said before seeing it. I have been so impressed by Bonnie Greer- the artist, the muse.. the creative take on this.. subverting.. Its beautiful.. more Jesuslike than the "Christian" pretensions of Mr Griffin..

Great communicator..

Marvellous..

Nick Griffin and all that..

noreply@blogger.com (Vicar) — Thu, 22 Oct 2009 21:16:00 +0000

" If Nick Griffin's appearance on Question Time has the ultimate effect of shaking the 'great' british public free of their political apathy and encourages them to ask probing questions, then his appearance will be a good thing "

Thats a quote off the BBC's comment board tonight. I am inclined to agree. The BNP polls at 6%. That may be a protest vote against the mainstream parties, I would suggest that it is a very real sense of disconnection among people who are scared. I wonder if they feel listened to at all. The views of the BNP are deplorable: but their headlines connect more with people than many would like to think.

And that is where I feel the Question Time thing hasn't worked. For a start, most people who are being wooed by the BNP don't watch Question Time. Second, all the questions were (as far as I can tell and I confess I haven't seen the whole lot) about his views on race.

If they had taken the time to ask about economic policy, about banking laws, about foreign policy etc there would be some gaping holes in the BNP plan.. try education, health, university fees.. don't dignify it by making it the centre. Nick Griffin is the leader of a political party. So ask him the questions that you would ask other political parties. Make him put race in a context and it can't stand up.

Those of us of a political bent have to wise up. We have to mobilise the vote, to drown out the voice, we have to get active. We have to engage the apathetic and somehow paint a picture of a better day where what we vote matters, where we can make a difference. In that sense, I'm with teh guy I quoted at the top.

As for protesters: I have never suffered racist taunts or threats. I have not yet been at the sharp end of the BNP, I don't understand how hard this is for some people. But I do know that ultimately the use of violence negates the protest. The non violent way is all we got, to be kinder and wiser and more dignified than those we seek to change.

Things I want to blog about..

noreply@blogger.com (Vicar) — Tue, 20 Oct 2009 19:34:00 +0000

I want to blog about

The politicisation of the military: how its going to get worse before the election and how when its happened in the past its not been good for anyone.

About the debate about the Catholic church where an Archbishop got whopped. I want to comment that if you want to debate about the church being a force for good then you shouldn't invited people from the top of the institution. Institution is rarely a force for good but people who, in spite of that, are faithful and follow the example of Christ probably are.

About how life feels like its changed and I feel like I am uncontrollably losing touch with people: and how I don't quite know how to get that back and whether its my fault or I should expect more grace from friends.

About how I am preferring X Factor to Strictly this year.

About how I really want to recruit a team to this place: about how I feel God is up to something.

I would so love to say more but I have to do reading for my MA course which starts on Saturday (I am a dufus for doing it but hey!).

Must blog more...

noreply@blogger.com (Vicar) — Sat, 03 Oct 2009 21:24:00 +0000

So much going on just now.. I am not finding the space to reflect and write very well at the moment: But I spent a couple of hours out on the very windy Dales today: photos below (or possibly above depending on what the formatting does!)

Grabbing The Third Rail...

noreply@blogger.com (Vicar) — Fri, 18 Sep 2009 20:12:00 +0000

Right, I'm going to wade in. Accordingly to Jed* social security is the third rail of US politics- well I might have to disagree, because healthcare is doing a darned good job.

As a follower of facebook I am kind of intrigued that people I know from the US are incredibly angry about the proposed healthcare reforms. The vitriol is pretty huge. This week Jimmy Carter named it as racism: I think he is a bit out of touch (see also comments about women a couple months ago.. he is talking like its fifteen years ago). There may be an element of race, but what I see is the rearing of a somewhat McCarthian head.

Something that I have never understood about right wing US politics is the fear of 'Big Government', I know that people can argue that its a Union of States but it is a nation and deals as one. To my mind the debate over healthcare is along these lines, but is being twisted by that word 'social'.

I think deep in the subconscious there remains a McCarthyite fear of anything that might possibly be at all like communism. There follows a thought that anything social must mean totalitarianism!

Add to that a few well placed ads and you are away with this ludicrous unreasoned attack. Yes criticise. Yes count the cost. Yes disagree. But don't witch hunt.

Oh and of course medicine is big US business!

Staying on the Edge..

noreply@blogger.com (Vicar) — Sun, 13 Sep 2009 13:00:00 +0000

Coming back from holiday is always a funny one. I think I always experience a bit of discontent, and this week has been no exception. I have come back to long run of meetings (I think I have on night off other than days off in the next three weeks). I'm not moaning about being busy, but I am beginning to get angsty about how much mission is getting missed because I am in those meetings.

Meetings drag me to the centre. They force compromise. They are generally about things that are already established. They often focus on problems and details and things which in my head are not important enough to worry about. They make me wonder if we can do anything. They are often an escape for when we have lost our courage: rather than just getting on with something, we have a meeting.

I feel myself tempted by the meetings culture: that under the guise of 'settling in' I will attend everything and never do anything.

I want to stay edgy. I want to stay missional. I want to stay focused on seeing the Kingdom come in this estate, and serving my congregations.

I know that it will be hard to stay out on that edge. I pray for grace to do it.

I hope it pans out. At the moment I just feel a bit careworn and grumpy.

Laws and sausages!

noreply@blogger.com (Vicar) — Wed, 09 Sep 2009 18:29:00 +0000

are two things which according to Leo McGarry are two thigs you ndon't want people to see you make. Permission to add a third one?

My Avon lady (oh my.. I'm getting old) dropped me a bunch of samples. I normally stick with what I know, but she is keen so I said I would try some stuff. Unfortunately I have a nut/ seed allergy which means I have turned into one of those annoying people who reads labels meticulously.

So: where to start. Out of 20 samples I can only use 4 (this is no great loss just a mere starter). Of those that I can use one contains urea (eugh), others have bits of chemical that sound like they should be in the Half Blood Prince's store. Its all a bit grim..

Hmm... laws, sausages and cosmetics maybe Leo?!

Back From Holiday..

noreply@blogger.com (Vicar) — Sun, 06 Sep 2009 13:00:00 +0000

I'm sat in my snug watching my new telly (thank you +John). Its 2pm and I am still in my pyjamas, enjoying the last 24 hours of holiday. Its been a good two weeks: I think I have clocked up a couple of thousand miles one way or another, driving to Bristol, flying to France, road tripping back and doing the ferry, a sneaky look at the college renovations, Devon, Luton and back to here.

I feel rested, refreshed and pleasantly surprised at how easy it has been to switch off.

But now, its time to gear up. I am excited about the next blast. This term is when I start to really do my stuff in the estate. I have a plan, written I hope prayerfully, and it starts its roll out now.

Phase one of the plan is allowing my heart to get broken by this place. Its about being soft and yet strong I think. I'll try and update as much as I can here.

An Unashamed Rant

noreply@blogger.com (Vicar) — Tue, 11 Aug 2009 08:31:00 +0000

One of my better purchases of recent months has been a Roberts idream, all singing all dancing DAB ipod radio alarm thing.. For £35 it mean I can wake up to a selection of good music, a podcast or the radio (or a buzzer but thats just mean).

So this morning I had some music for a while, then flicked over to Radio 5 Live.
The discussion was about the naming of Baby 'P's' parents. The discussion went to the idea that they may be protected when released from prison. People were phoning in to say alll kinds of stuff: then a lady makes a comment about 'people on benefits who choose to have children'. Blue touch paper lit-

1- there is an assumption there that it is somehow better to abort than to try and bring up kids
2- there is an assumption that poor people are irresponsible
3- its really easy for people to slag off these folk now. What they did was very very wrong. It was very messed up and horrible. But critics: where were you when this was happening. Its easy to snipe away from your suburban homes where you mess your kids up with all kinds of other stuff. But until you are prepared to move in to the estates and get to know poor people and make friends with them and see what goes on and then maybe step in when you are worried about children you actually know: if you are not prepared to do that, you need to butt out!

I am fuming that we think that the actions of three very messed up people mean its OK to once again deride and judge a whole group of people.

Being a pioneer..

noreply@blogger.com (Vicar) — Mon, 10 Aug 2009 19:54:00 +0000

.. I was chatting with someone today and they told a story about a group of nuns. They were given a piece of land in Egypt, upon which they were to build their convent. Like much of the country this piece of land was effectively desert. But the group of nuns, took up shovels and dug their way to the Nile. They insured that the land could be irrigated, the convent built.

She likened their story to that of the pioneer: that we pitch up on barren land to build a community of prayer and of hospitality and all that, but that it starts with a pioneer who will take up a shovel and dig through the desert until they get to the Nile.

Bring on the spade!

A Good Day Off..

noreply@blogger.com (Vicar) — Fri, 07 Aug 2009 18:38:00 +0000

Days off in this job are somehow sacred. There is something about only officially having one day off a week that makes that day special. Sometimes I feel the pressure to do something 'special' with it. Not today: today I just enjoyed.

After a lie in I got up and had a good healthy breakfast. Headed to the gym: watched the blimp over Headingley, but by the time I got to the gym a wicket had gone, I then saw 4 more go before I left. (Maybe thats how we should measure exercise?)

Drove back and spent much of the afternoon starting what feels like a mammoth gardening clear up. The front looks a bit better now and tomorrow's job is to get the back ready for the three big jobs that mum and dad will help with next week. I am toying with the idea of having a bonfire, but really don't want to annoy the neighbours.

I also made twice baked potato. I have no idea what they will be like when unfrozen but they are getting rid of some of the many spuds I have just now.

And now I am slumped in front of the telly. A good day!

3 years to go... sport and self image!

noreply@blogger.com (Vicar) — Mon, 27 Jul 2009 17:18:00 +0000

Its three years till the London Olympics begin. The stadium is coming together, the trains are getting sorted out, we're on budget, we're on time. So lets start moaning about legacy.

The BBC have just thrown out the stats that people are not taking up sports like swimming and gymnastics, but they are taking up table tennis.

Can I throw out a thought: in my years of teaching/ young people's work I've noticed that young people don't like doing sports that mean they have to get their bodies out. There is something about school PE which makes this worse, the struggling into kit at the very moments when your body is least in control of itself. Its only natural then that people are less keen to take up the sports which mean you have to do that daily.

The way round it: I don't fully know. Better changing facilities in schools. Sportswear manufacturers making good kit for bigger people (thats a whole other point but I think thats important). Maybe assuring people that they are good, that a tiny bit of flab or hair or cellulite doesn't mean they can't do sports..

Gyms, exercise and prayer..

noreply@blogger.com (Vicar) — Fri, 24 Jul 2009 21:36:00 +0000

I went to the gym today. Not remarkable in itself, in fact before you get our hopes up none of what I am going to say is remarkable.

I did over an hour of proper exercise, which has made me feel really good. I very quickly forget that its when I exercise that I think more clearly and have more zip about me. It makes me want to eat better and be more alive and alert.

It normally doesn't make me want to pray (apart from that the pain might stop!)

But I have been doing 2000m ergos, and they have gotten me praying. Each little clause of the Lords Prayer gets 100 m. Thats not very long but it really makes you focus on what you are praying for.

So, inspired by finding some joy in exercise I have once again resolved that I am going to lose some weight. 28 pounds. Thats quite a lot for some folk but not for me, it will make me feel much healthier. I'd very much appreciate your prayers (if you are the praying type) as I go for this. Exercise is not too tricky once I get going, but it only means something if I also do something about what I eat. And I love my food.

I'll most likely blog more about how its going.. watch this space.

Drugs macro and micro..

noreply@blogger.com (Vicar) — Mon, 20 Jul 2009 21:15:00 +0000

I'm pottering my way through the West Wing (again)- mid way through series two and the plot has DEA agents kidnapped (and their rescuers killed) in I think Columbia. Bartlet calls his policy aides in mid way through the crisis and reels off some statistics about the war on drugs. He concludes with 'just say no doesn't work'.

Today I did a bit of intentional mooching. I walked through the estate where the under 4's are out playing unsupervised, where the guy with the hood on the bike moved pretty quick when he saw me coming. I popped in the doctors, when I asked what can one change would make it different; I was told.. 'get them all jobs, and get them off drugs'. Just a few minutes earlier I had been talking to a lady: she started taking drugs in the sixties and has shot all her faculties and veins to pieces. She showed me the scars as she told me about her boyfriend who died tragically again with drug induced psychosis as a contributory factor.

Drugs kills people. They kill hope, they kill all that helps us connect with the people and the world around them. The lady I spoke to has been clean for years now. But she still bears the scars.

I find myself reflecting again.. that this is now the time for me to really practice what I preach. I believe in a God of resurrection. A God who restores a naked raging guy from the caves and sets him free. A God who can beat addiction, who urges us to pray for daily bread as he loves to provide. The challenge is, will I embody all I believe about Him, to see change micro and macro. Just saying no will not work.

The Fridge Story

noreply@blogger.com (Vicar) — Wed, 08 Jul 2009 10:57:00 +0000

The first few days of settling into this new post have had the faint hum of a fridge behind them. Those of you who have followed and commented on facebook will have a vague idea of what has been going on. To fill in gaps and for those who don't know; here is the story.

When I moved in there was a fridge dumped just to the other side of a driveway by my house. I hoped the council were on the case but didn't chase them as I know authorities move slowly to do anything helpful on a housing estate.

All fine until Saturday, when I got home to find a note scrawled on the fridge (picture 1).

I came inside, part furious, part upset, part intrigued. I realised that my response needed to set out my stall about what I really believe about being here. Would I be vengeful? Would I run to authority? I chose what I hoped was a different way.. (pictures 2 and 3)

And then I waited. It was interesting because I posted these pics on facebook and the response form other folk was amazing. It was encouraging but at the end of the day all that mattered was the response here. So I was a bit disconcerted to find this note on Monday morning (and yes when I looked all the Coke had gone)!

Again my initial response was to feel a bit hurt, but I soon reasoned that the comment wasn't actually about me; the joys of taking on someone elses patch. But I figured that it was time to move the fridge. So I hired a vicar's son and we came down. As we lifted it a neighbour came round, he had phoned the council and arranged a pick up. He was lovely and rightly pointed out that this is a funny way for neighbours to communicate. We agreed that if the council ddin;t move it we would sort it out today.

But yesterday it went. And hopefully with it the background noise of disquiet, and the offence of a neighbour. I doubt I will ever know who the graffittier is, I'm not it matters. But I hope that I have set out somehow that I am here to serve, to bring some joy, to hopefully show something of the way of Jesus. I will make more mistakes, I will need neighbours to set me straight. But hopefully together we can see this place change.

Cheese over!