Green File Moments

I should never forget that this discipleship thing is a journey. There is no defined end to it save when I get to go home (die, or Jesus comes back). I think I do forget it, often, and get complacent. I forget that an intimate relationship with my Creator, my Father, is exactly what I was created for. It is my highest calling- not some trifling task of setting up projects, no matter how worthy.

From time to time I find myself reminded of this truth and I realize how far away from that priority I have drifted. Yes, I love God, yes, I want to serve Him, but somewhere along the line I have let service overtake love and I have really denied my purpose in life.

Sometimes the journey home is short and fairly painless, a grateful turn round to realize that home is just round the corner. Sometimes the journey is longer and harder. It’s a time when actually the challenge is to say “have at it” and let God not just let me in at the door but let Him show me the new rooms that he has prepared for our relationship.

Those journeys are harder, they involve examining my heart, they involve dealing with my fears of coming closer to God. They involve digging around and rooting out pain. They often involve me going to my green file and looking at the journey that I have already come on, thanking God for it and asking for more. In going to the file I challenge my pride, my thirst for perfection (rather than holiness), I abandon my attempts to make it on my own and I say Daddy I need you.

Last night and this morning.. they are green file moments. Have at it Lord.

Too much caffeine

I've drunk a lot of tea today and it seems to have addled my concentration. Am now VERY out of it.. Quite odd really.. Pretty productive day though.

Might go for an extreme commute tomorrow. Watch this space!

Does Everyone Read the Daily Mail?

I made the *mistake* of wearing a hoody (without the hood up!) on the 0733 to Moorgate this morning. Why was this a mistake, you may be asking? Well, all was fine through the Luton stations- but as the suited got on at Harpenden and St. Albans I began to get pompose down your nose looks! In fact a couple of people looked positively aggressive.

Those of you who know me well will understand that I now want to buy a baseball cap (preferaby fake Burberry) and wear it with my hood over the top. I want to calll the good Christian folk of the world to make a stand on behalf of the poor and start wearing appropriate estate clothing. I want to get thrown out of Bluewater!

Hmmm.. anyway- I'm off to try and get some compassion for the aforementioned suited!

BOILER LAUNCH NIGHT

Hello... guys put this in your diaries. We are celebrating the launch of the City of London Boiler Room on the night of the 17th June. I'd love for people to come and join in. Its a couple of quid to ensure that people turn up.. Flan's doing some worship stuff and it will be a good chance to get a look at the Boiler room once its been prayed in a bit!

Let me know if you wanna come..

Darn phone

I got home just now to find 3 new answerphone messages on my home phone. Popular you may think.. But NO.. just a random, "hello, hello... " a couple of times, lots of silence and a few beeps. Yesterday I got home to four similar messages (and a lovely one from Liz, thank you). And then just now I get another random call from "Consumer Lifestyle", clearly from India. I am annoyed! Why... well frankly its all just a little bit crappy..
1 They assume you are a mister or missis!
2 Why is someone in Mumbai asking me about something in Harlow?
3 I don't like being accosted at home
4 No-one I like ever phones me on my home phone any more (except my sister sometimes, usually on a Friday!)

Pah...

Oh and if its you trying to pluck up the courage to ask me to marry you.. GET ON WITH IT.. or try my mobile!

Double Pah!

Have You Ever Noticed?

That the thing that you think you want- when you are actually finally presented with it- isn't actually the thing you want? Funny old world!

I Might Have Been Wrong About Norwich

Given that they got drubbed today and went down. BUT my oh my, what an end to the season. Now I know that this post is not the most affirming of my femininity at first glance- but it is worthy of comment. As I drove back from London- I was captivated as first WBA then Palace then WBA were in line to stay up. What a dilemma- between childhood hero Bryan "Captain Marvel" Robson, and Luton old boy, Iain Dowie.

As the final whistle went tears were streaming down my face (alarmingly at that tricky bit where the North Circular and the A1 meet for 200 yards). It was all truly amazing!!!! I have to say that this end of season stuff has renewed my love of football... bring on August 13th!!

The Monastery

Wow!!!

I just watched the first episode of the BBC 2 series the Monastery (5 guys go and spend 40 days in a Benedictine Community).
Now I have a long held love of all things Benedictine and this really didn't disappoint! Such a beautiful welcoming accepting community. AND some amazing guys on the show.. my favourites so far are the former UDA member and the Essex soft porn boy. Just so broken..

I wonder what the long term knock on might be for numbers stepping up for the novitiate..

Someone needs to drag me back- I'm nearly ready to pack it all in and join.. I'm definitely VERY challenged about living in community.

(p.s. Bro. Tom, no smug "i told you so comments".. its against the rule.)

God loves Norwich

I caught a bit of Match of the Day this morning before heading into the Boiler room: one of the matches was Norwich Birmingham.. man were Norwich lucky. Like, I'm not sure just how involved God gets in football but if he does he was none to subtle on Saturday.

Election reflections..

I have to say that my excitement at the prospect of last night’s election didn’t let me down. (err, just to warn you all now, this may not make sense, have had not very much sleep!- and am posting on Sunday.. ). I loved the fact that we actually had a NATIONAL mixed up, random, swings all over the place election!!! Thank you voters!

First, thank you students. For Cardiff Central, and for Cambridge (and possibly others). Thank you for 14% swings that show that a Government cannot ignore you!

Thank you posh people. It was fun watching the rich Boroughs of London go blue. Galling, but always good to know that money will never bring itself to vote for the left.

Thank you loyal constituency MP’s. A good couple of independents who have stayed in. To my own.

Thank you to the Reg Keyes, for having the bravery to stand. For making an eloquent and dignified speech.

Thank you Gordon. If you need any help moving….

Thank you Michael… and good night.

Thank you Charles. As successful as Lloyd George- not a mean feat.

Why I'm excited...

This may be a confusing post. I'm excited about many things (some of which cannot be posted here!). I'm excited that the first draft of boiler room logos has come back looking VERY like the sketch I made six months ago.

I'm excited that a random conversation over dinner may have turned into a beautiful arty thing!

I'm excited because I now have a season ticket (and am therefore a proper commuter!)

I'm excited because the end of series five is just AMAZING (Kate hang in there.. the middle is just a dip!)

I'm excited because tomorrow is ELECTION DAY!

Now this may not cause so much excitement for many. BUT.. when you consider that the Lib Dems have snuck ahead of the Tories in a late opinion poll, we have a very exciting prospect. Not for this election necssarily (labour will win I think.. I have the number 86 buzzing round my head.. who knows.. ) BUT.. we light just be witnessing one of those transitory moments where the British bipartisan set up gets a little shift around. The Conservatives are in pretty much freefall. There's very little depth in the Party, so when they lose and Howard feels duty bound to resign, they have no obvious replacement. Into this come the Lib dems, yes elevated because of being the only sane party about the war, but with a definite position. If they do well we could see a shift to a new viable left, leaving NEW Labour as the centre right party.. and the Tories to go the way of fox hunting. I may just be dreaming, but I will be riveted tomorrow night. If you wanna join the banter call me or Flan.